Every year, millions of us set out with grand plans to turn our lives around. We promise to eat better, move more, and catch those elusive z's for a healthier life. At first, we're all in. We hit the gym, swap fries for veggies, and tuck ourselves in early. Life feels good, really good. But then, slowly but surely, something changes.
As the weeks roll by, our new habits start to slip. We skip a workout here, indulge in a treat there, and before we know it, we're back to our old ways. It's frustrating, isn't it? We wonder why it's so hard to stick to these changes.
Making lasting changes isn't as easy as flipping a switch. It takes time, effort, and a whole lot of patience. But there are reasons behind the struggle and ways to overcome.
First off, our brains are wired to seek out the path of least resistance, which means we naturally gravitate towards our old habits, even when we're trying to change. It's like our brains are on autopilot, without even realizing it.
Then there's the issue of willpower. Sure, we start off with buckets of it, but it's not an endless resource. Every decision we make, from what to eat for breakfast to whether or not to hit the gym, or do a spring clean – whatever it is, chips away at our willpower reserves. And when those reserves run low, we're more likely to give in to temptation and revert to our old habits.
The issue is that we are trying to change our lives to make the change happen. When our initial excitement fades and our body starts resisting, our motivation drops. What is making the change hard to do? It usually revolves around a few things: time, money, physical capacity, mental energy and whether or not it fits into your current schedule.
Just having motivation and willpower doesn't always mean we'll succeed. Over one million people enroll in online courses every year but just 10 percent of them graduate. 90% drop out. For the very same reasons that people own unused gym passes. They get caught up in the power of motivation alone.
Sometimes, even when we're really motivated and determined, things still don't work out the way we want them to. That's because success depends on other things too, like having a good plan, being able to pivot when things change, and having support from others. So, while motivation and willpower are important, they're not the only things that matter when it comes to creating new habits.
The biggest hurdle of all is the lack of a solid plan. We tend to dive headfirst without a clear vision of how we're going to get there. We say we want to eat healthier, but what does that actually mean?
How do we make lasting changes stick?
First - Stop taking on too much at a time. Instead of trying to overhaul our entire lives overnight, we can focus on making one small change at a time. Maybe that means swapping soda for water or taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Start a new 10-minute fitness session at home before signing up for the grueling 2-hour gym routine. Tidy a drawer before the closet. Whatever the goal, building momentum slowly seems to be the trick.
When our ability to do something is low, we’ll only do well on days when our motivation is high. While motivation spikes are good for one-off tasks, it won’t do it for the day to day changes we want to make. Think about what is practical.
It might mean prepping healthy meals in advance, laying out workout clothes the night before, or setting a bedtime alarm. The easier it is, the more likely we are to actually stick to it.
There might be times we fall off the wagon – it happens. Instead of beating ourselves up over every slip-up, acknowledge the setbacks and move on. Figure out if it’s doable – if a certain behaviour frustrates you, it will not become a habit.
Prompts can make us do things, both good and bad. Good prompts might remind us to exercise or eat healthy foods. But bad prompts can make us do things that aren't so good, like spending too much time on our phones instead of doing something productive.
Something that helps me is to link new habits with things I’m already doing. For example, when making coffee, showering or brushing my teeth, there are always three factors involved. First – motivation (my desire to do something). Second – ability (capacity to do it) and third – prompts (triggers to do it). The easier a behaviour is, the more likely I will do it.
It’s called "anchoring" new behaviors into existing routines.
For example, when making coffee or tea – I take a few seconds to be grateful and just rhyme off a few things in my head. It’s a great way to start the day (even when I know I have a challenging one ahead). When brushing my teeth it’s a cue to floss.
Another example is when my daughter is in the tub and I need to be there with her awhile, I usually take a few minutes to wipe down the sinks and counter saving a big bathroom clean later on. When my feet first touch the floor in the morning, I do a few stretches. Nothing too strenuous and I have found with each passing day, I am able to stretch a bit further. When driving, I use red lights as a prompt to take 3 deep breaths– this is a great reset especially on chaotic days. Just a few things that I’ve implemented over time however, I’m going to take it further and continue to look for other ways to link some good habits to my existing routines.
I heard of a guy who did this very exercise. He decided to work on his fitness – he was looking to find a way to increase his push ups per day without it being a full blown workout. The solution? Going to the bathroom. Every time he flushed, he did two push ups. That soon became a habit. Several years later he still does it. Depending on how much water he drinks, he sometimes ends up doing quite a few push ups every day.
Anyone can build on existing routines. Boiling water, dropping kids off at school, hanging up your coat – anything can be a prompt for new habits.
If you want to start reading more, you can anchor this new habit to something you already do every day, like having breakfast. So, every morning after breakfast, set aside some time to read.
By anchoring new behaviors to things we already do, it makes it easier to remember and stick to because they become part of our everyday routine.
We’re told that creating positive change is all about willpower. But I feel this is wrong. The best way to change habits is to start small. What are you motivated to do – what CAN you do? Pick the easy stuff – it’s what comes natural anyway – when it’s simple and easy, you’re much more likely to do it.
Making lasting changes to our day-to-day lives takes some thought and effort. We just need to shift our perception. By understanding the reasons behind our struggles and taking proactive steps to overcome them, we can change our reality, one step, one habit at a time.